Diagnosis Murder

Thought I had Swine Flu, turns out I have Vertigo.
There is no cure, but the average case lasts about 7-10 days. I just expect mine to last at least 14. Not because I am a pessimist but because who in the hell gets Vertigo when there is a flu epidemic going on. Alexa Hall, that's who.
Thank goodness for Antivert (yes, as in anti-vertigo), my prescription that cures the nausea but leaves me feeling like that scene from the OC where Marissa takes Summer's step-mom's illegal meds and chases it with some good old fashioned Tijuana'n Tequila. (Not to be confused with Tilla) Yep, complete with misconstrued perceptions, spinning rooms, dull lighting, bare midriffs, dizziness, confusion, dry mouth, and Tijuanaen men trying to ask if I'm okay. Before I pass (not gas) but out on the dirty streets/alley of Logan, Utah- Where is Ryan? Is there going to be someone to carry me to "Into Dust"-Mazzy Star out of it?
Doubt it.
RIP Marissa Cooper.