One thing that I have perceived over the past 20 years is that the older you get, the more you find out that more things are actually fruit than you thought.
For example, around the age of 2 years old the brain starts to categorize words into different groups as you learn them; fruit, vegetables, formula, and macaroni and cheese.
These are of course, subject to change based on your parents, teachers, how many languages you speak, haircut, surroundings, and if you grew up in the states. (No macaroni and cheese for Nekku. Sorry, you were only given things that won't give you autism, spine cancer, lime disease, and adult acne.)
Since the age of 2, you spend countless hours defending that a strawberry is a fruit. You KNOW it is, you're sure of it. This is where the fruit identity crisis begins.
It happens everyday, to all of us. What categorizes a fruit? A mention of a simple tomato or cucumber sends shivers down my spine. I can't order anything normal at restaurants without thinking some subway worker is going to question my choice of black olives over green. They could BOTH be fruit for all I know.
It has ruined much more than just my confidence. It has ruined an aspect of road trip fun that I happen to be very good at.
-Hey! Let's play 20 questions!
- Okay. You first.
- Okay. Animal, mineral, or vegetable?
- I don't want to play anymore...
You can imagine how much fun driving from Utah to Florida can be after a ruined game of 20 Questions.
It's so cool to be a fruit right now. It seems everything is jumping on the "fruit train", and that is a big problem when trying to decipher between ' is it a fad or is this fruit going to be a fruit next time I bring it up in my Poli sci class?' What fruits are in for fall? Can i still wear my mangoes and kiwis with those skinny jeans, or are Uggs out this year?!
I don't think the humiliation will ever end. As Americans, it is just something we're going to have to live with. I'm learning more and more everyday, but can't help but walk out of Jamba Juice empty handed every so panic attack.
Does is have seeds? Yes.
Is it a fruit? Yes.
Does it have a peel? Yes.
Is it a fruit? Yes.
Does it have seeds? Yes.
Is it a vegetable? Yes.
Does it have a peel? Yes.
Is it a vegetable? Yes?
R.I.P. food groups.
